What a panic attack feels like.

In a restaurant........

Something isn't right, something definitely isn't right. Everyone else seems fine. Fuck, it's me. What's this wave, this wave, shit it's hot, my skin is hot, wow, what is this, I'm burning... I can't swallow, why the f**k can't I swallow, and this air is so thick, why can't I, I'm suffocating, everyone else is breathing it ok .......I think I'm going to be sick, so hot, why is my stomach doing this..... Going dizzy, jeez, why is everyone else being so...normal, can't they see this shit? Feel your heart man, it's racing like.... I'm going to die, right here in this restaurant, Hot, sweat, cold, going to faint, going to faint....

"I need air" I get up and leave the restaurant, outside cold air on skin; face, breathe, sit, gutter.... people are looking at me, don't care, need to sit down, tears are rolling down my cheek. WTF just happened?

So tired.

Need to go home.


================

In middle of the night........

Why am I awake?

WTF just woke me? It's 4am, need to sleep, something isn't right, hot skin, oh shit, not again, work, shit... they want to sack me. Sit up, alert, head in hands,  I have the family to support, we'd lose our house! Hot, hot, burning. Arghh, my shoulders, so tense! No breath, no breath, no breath, open the window FFS! Why am I shaking like this? What's wrong with me, Why am I crying? What is wrong with me? You have got to go to work, you have to! Wife hugging me, "calm down, calm down" ... "whats the matter"? How old am I? Jeez, man up, can't stop, Crying shaking, hugging. I feel 7 years old. I faked my success, I've been rumbled, I can't do this. So tired. So tense. I want to die.

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