The vent of a hyperactive mind.

In a restaurant........ Something isn't right, something definitely isn't right. Everyone else seems fine. Fuck, it's me. What's this wave, this wave, shit it's hot, my skin is hot, wow, what is this, I'm burning... I can't swallow, why the f**k can't I swallow, and this air is so thick, why can't I, I'm suffocating, everyone else is breathing it ok .......I think I'm going to be sick, so hot, why is my stomach doing this..... Going dizzy, jeez, why is everyone else being so...normal, can't they see this shit? Feel your heart man, it's racing like.... I'm going to die, right here in this restaurant, Hot, sweat, cold, going to faint, going to faint.... "I need air" I get up and leave the restaurant, outside cold air on skin; face, breathe, sit, gutter.... people are looking at me, don't care, need to sit down, tears are rolling down my cheek. WTF just happened? So tired. Need to go home. ================ ...

What does 'Anxiety' mean to you? Is it just a verb? The act of being anxious, or is it an actual physical or mental condition? Many years ago, I'd have thought it was purely psychological, controllable, maybe even a weakness. I didn't really know I was a sufferer. In reality, my anxiety had always been there. At the back of my mind, looking for the bad in every situation, oddly enough, keeping me on my toes and driving me to deliver more at work. Although as I'd grown older I genuinely did care less about other peoples opinions of me. I still tried my hardest to maintain an ethical approach to management. Realising, that although the work was important, it was far more important to maintain healthy relationships with those people you worked with. That ethos, and the paranoia keeping me on my toes was quite a useful combination. I was successful at what I did. However after being exposed to some pretty unethical and, in my opinion, demoralising management treatment...