Managing Social media addiction with technological solutions.
Over the last few months I've really tamed my social media usage by managing my technology better. In fact I really wasn't sure where to post this, I have a blog that I find therapeutic for my mental health musings and one for technology related stuff, for the work that I do, and this is an overlap where tech is causing unnecessary anxiety because of my social media links.
But ultimately the following actions have had the most positive impact on my well being so it's here it belongs (I think - let me know if you disagree). My days of being glued to to my phone or 'owned' and 'obedient to it's notifications and feeds are behind me and I won't ever look back.
So what were the issues and how did I overcome them?
A year or so back, my life had turned into a series of potential status updates. I was very active on Facebook and Twitter and on one of these platforms, I still am, but I am definitely not it's slave. I'd also started using Trello with work Coleagues and some of my What's App groups were very active and demanding of my time. At this time, me-time was minimal, my day would be a stream of notifications and pings on my screen and that dopamine hit would work it's wonders as one of my old school friends had liked one of my posts or photos. The good I felt was short lived until the next hit. Then I would live a little and want to status update more. And then, once the app was open, I would scroll, and scroll and like, and scroll and laugh, and scroll and comment, react and scroll. On Twitter and on Facebook, I would waste hours, and I would know it wasn't good for me.
FEED ME
My weening was gradual, but also made up of a few steps, some easy, some more dramatic. The first step was to turn off the way I saw my 'feed'. Feeds (on Twitter and Facebook) are cleverly doctored/ 'Infinite feeds' they're called and the algorithms used to produce them are very smart. You are well known, your religious beliefs, your political bent, your sexual orientation, your sense of humour (or lack of), Social networks have on average around 5000 data points on everyone. They know what will keep you engaged by what you look at and engange with, think of your stream not as a feed, but as a spoon 'feed'. So I had to turn it to 'latest'. On Facebook and Twitter this is relatively easy to do.
By changing the way I see data, I could see easier when I was up to date, which makes it easier to disengage. Instagram already does this. Ever seen, 'you're all caught up', pointless carrying on after that and much easier to jump back onto Facebook! This helped massively, meaning I got some time, back to myself.
DO NOT DISTURB
The next step was to decide how I wanted to see my social media. Did I need it glued to my hip? Or should I control when and how I access each platform. In reality, I think the healthiest people devote a small amount of time to staying in touch. The best person at this is my Mum, but it's easy for her as she doesn't own a tablet or smart phone. She spends a short while in the morning and a short while at night on her upstairs computer, replying and engaging. Then she turns it off. This was never going to work for me, so deleting the app of my phone or iPad wasn't really realistic. I tried, but I just reinstalled it again. (It's a drug thing).
So instead I did something that did make a difference. I turned off notifications, for both Twotter and Facebook. I also did similar with What's app, and Trello but not in the same way.
For
This action itself made perhaps the biggest difference. Instead of reacting to a notification, I would decide when I wanted to catch up. I would do what I wanted, and then, when I got a spare five minutes, I would fill that time with social media interactions and responses. The way it should be right? And then I did something dramatic.
FACEBOOK or TWITTER
Twitter and Facebook have always been at loggerheads. But the way people interact on the two is quite different. I found relatives and friends are more comfortable on Facebook. This means that they're less cautious about what they say. People I know well, can become more volatile, or argumentative (or just unnecessarily sarcastic) and will consider others feelings less than when their comments are there for the world to judge, as they are on Twitter. Twitter seems more open, and encourages behaviour akin to being out in public. In addition I've made business connections through Twitter, and never have through Facebook, despite having similar amounts of followers on both platforms.
All of the pro's for ditching Facebook seemed obvious, but, I manage a Facebook Page. So, willingly, I added my wife as an admin and deactivated my Facebook account. There were a few hiccups but now I'm in a much healthier position. I don't miss Facebook, and will happily while that time away on Twitter, where, sometimes, complete strangers will be nice, and idiots can be easily blocked.
After all the changes that have happened, I have found that I have much more time to myself and regret nothing. If there is anything that was relatable at the start of the blog post, and anything within the post can make a difference, I have linked to articles that should help you do the same with your own accounts.
And if my friends on Facebook are on Twitter, I'm @alan_downes_ and @roughcuts1 👍🏻
But ultimately the following actions have had the most positive impact on my well being so it's here it belongs (I think - let me know if you disagree). My days of being glued to to my phone or 'owned' and 'obedient to it's notifications and feeds are behind me and I won't ever look back.
So what were the issues and how did I overcome them?
A year or so back, my life had turned into a series of potential status updates. I was very active on Facebook and Twitter and on one of these platforms, I still am, but I am definitely not it's slave. I'd also started using Trello with work Coleagues and some of my What's App groups were very active and demanding of my time. At this time, me-time was minimal, my day would be a stream of notifications and pings on my screen and that dopamine hit would work it's wonders as one of my old school friends had liked one of my posts or photos. The good I felt was short lived until the next hit. Then I would live a little and want to status update more. And then, once the app was open, I would scroll, and scroll and like, and scroll and laugh, and scroll and comment, react and scroll. On Twitter and on Facebook, I would waste hours, and I would know it wasn't good for me.
FEED ME
My weening was gradual, but also made up of a few steps, some easy, some more dramatic. The first step was to turn off the way I saw my 'feed'. Feeds (on Twitter and Facebook) are cleverly doctored/ 'Infinite feeds' they're called and the algorithms used to produce them are very smart. You are well known, your religious beliefs, your political bent, your sexual orientation, your sense of humour (or lack of), Social networks have on average around 5000 data points on everyone. They know what will keep you engaged by what you look at and engange with, think of your stream not as a feed, but as a spoon 'feed'. So I had to turn it to 'latest'. On Facebook and Twitter this is relatively easy to do.
By changing the way I see data, I could see easier when I was up to date, which makes it easier to disengage. Instagram already does this. Ever seen, 'you're all caught up', pointless carrying on after that and much easier to jump back onto Facebook! This helped massively, meaning I got some time, back to myself.
DO NOT DISTURB
The next step was to decide how I wanted to see my social media. Did I need it glued to my hip? Or should I control when and how I access each platform. In reality, I think the healthiest people devote a small amount of time to staying in touch. The best person at this is my Mum, but it's easy for her as she doesn't own a tablet or smart phone. She spends a short while in the morning and a short while at night on her upstairs computer, replying and engaging. Then she turns it off. This was never going to work for me, so deleting the app of my phone or iPad wasn't really realistic. I tried, but I just reinstalled it again. (It's a drug thing).
So instead I did something that did make a difference. I turned off notifications, for both Twotter and Facebook. I also did similar with What's app, and Trello but not in the same way.
For
- Facebook I accessed the settings on my Android phone and iPad and disabled everything. (via the device, not the app)
- For Twitter I did the same
- For What's App I simply muted, permanently, the notifications for my most active groups (I've just checked and there are 42 notifications from 8am this morning on one of these).
- For Trello, I changed the notification to just the one's that I was mentioned in, so I would know if there was important work to do.
- For Instagram, I left this the same - personally, I don't waste much time on Instagram. Although I know some do.
This action itself made perhaps the biggest difference. Instead of reacting to a notification, I would decide when I wanted to catch up. I would do what I wanted, and then, when I got a spare five minutes, I would fill that time with social media interactions and responses. The way it should be right? And then I did something dramatic.
FACEBOOK or TWITTER
Twitter and Facebook have always been at loggerheads. But the way people interact on the two is quite different. I found relatives and friends are more comfortable on Facebook. This means that they're less cautious about what they say. People I know well, can become more volatile, or argumentative (or just unnecessarily sarcastic) and will consider others feelings less than when their comments are there for the world to judge, as they are on Twitter. Twitter seems more open, and encourages behaviour akin to being out in public. In addition I've made business connections through Twitter, and never have through Facebook, despite having similar amounts of followers on both platforms.
All of the pro's for ditching Facebook seemed obvious, but, I manage a Facebook Page. So, willingly, I added my wife as an admin and deactivated my Facebook account. There were a few hiccups but now I'm in a much healthier position. I don't miss Facebook, and will happily while that time away on Twitter, where, sometimes, complete strangers will be nice, and idiots can be easily blocked.
After all the changes that have happened, I have found that I have much more time to myself and regret nothing. If there is anything that was relatable at the start of the blog post, and anything within the post can make a difference, I have linked to articles that should help you do the same with your own accounts.
And if my friends on Facebook are on Twitter, I'm @alan_downes_ and @roughcuts1 👍🏻
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