The 'other' mental health problem
Anxiety and depression are getting an increasing amount of media attention and for all of the right reasons. Inferiority complexes and mental health in general, is widely becoming accepted as something of vital importance to healthy modern day living. Indeed, what's the point, if we can't be happy and relaxed at least some of the time in our lives?
However, I was at a fascinating training earlier this week about public narrative. Tony talked passionately about the masks that young adults, especially young men have to wear. I guess he was talking about the 'brave face' mask, the 'not offended' mask, the 'laugh it off' mask and the 'look how strong I am' mask. Masks that cover what many gentlemen (and women) feel, which can quite often be loneliness, weakness and feelings of overwhelm.
But then there are some individuals, not always men, who wear their masks all the time, and who's masks eventually end up becoming part of their personality. This is fine, to a degree, you could argue that these people are mentally well balanced, stable, and so long as there is no sufferance to others. I'd have to agree. It seems alien to me, I have no idea where boxers, stand up comedians, performers and athletes (and even my kids) get their confidence from, and good luck to them all!
But what if the 'Look how strong I am' mask runs out of control. Maybe the mask is stuck on?
What if it results in a partner being beaten on a regular basis, and subsequent lies and denial being told to cover it up? You'd surely say this person has a metal health problem; wouldn't we? (you might call it anger management?) What if the resulting fury is so strong that, after having parked over two spaces in a car park and tailgating someone for miles, that person then gets out of their car with the sole intention of hurting the person they feel has crossed them on the road (we'd call that road rage)? What if their mask, their overblown ego, their self importance causes them to manipulate others for their own gain, without a second thought of the negative consequences of their actions. What if their 'not offended' mask means that they're incapable of accepting criticism, and paired to their 'look how strong' mask causes conversations to become all negative opinion (not factual) and causes other people negative mental health problems? And for this, we might call it bullying?
This level of over confidence, the lack of social boundaries, the reliance on threatening (verbal or physical) behaviour to achieve goals, maybe they're all related? Aren't these common everyday occurrences increasing in frequency as we're urged by news and some political parties to segregate and dehumanise ourselves, part of the same problem?
I remember reading a book called Being Happy by Andrew Matthews which stated in it that there was no such thing as a superiority complex. But what if that's exactly what it is, what if the signs for superiority complexes are obvious to us everyday, the driver that doesn't thank you when you pull over to let them through (just rudeness right, or is it a superiority complex?) The Double parker, my car is better than yours, so I deserve two spaces so it doesn't get scratched - superiority complex?
The I'm your boss, so I'm going to talk down to you and argue using my opinions and not listen to your facts. That's surely a sign of a superiority complex?
Worth thinking about, as these people who upset the status quo of everyday living don't have boundaries, they don't suffer, everyone else does. Their mental health problems don't grab the headlines because the person with the mental health problem doesn't recognise it. Why would an individual see a doctor, when they're not suffering. The rest of us just have to tolerate them and attend therapy sessions to cope with the affect. (I say we I'm assuming I'm not one of them).
No one would visit the Doctor with the line "I seem to be a bit of an asshole, can I get therapy?".
But what if the mirror was held at a different angle and the focus suddenly became about their issues. How would it affect our collective well being moving forward if we recognised over empowering and damaging behaviour, where the patient had a recognised serious mental health problem that needed our care and attention in order to improve all of our lives?
What if there really is such a thing as a superiority complex and these are the consequences?
However, I was at a fascinating training earlier this week about public narrative. Tony talked passionately about the masks that young adults, especially young men have to wear. I guess he was talking about the 'brave face' mask, the 'not offended' mask, the 'laugh it off' mask and the 'look how strong I am' mask. Masks that cover what many gentlemen (and women) feel, which can quite often be loneliness, weakness and feelings of overwhelm.
But then there are some individuals, not always men, who wear their masks all the time, and who's masks eventually end up becoming part of their personality. This is fine, to a degree, you could argue that these people are mentally well balanced, stable, and so long as there is no sufferance to others. I'd have to agree. It seems alien to me, I have no idea where boxers, stand up comedians, performers and athletes (and even my kids) get their confidence from, and good luck to them all!
But what if the 'Look how strong I am' mask runs out of control. Maybe the mask is stuck on?
What if it results in a partner being beaten on a regular basis, and subsequent lies and denial being told to cover it up? You'd surely say this person has a metal health problem; wouldn't we? (you might call it anger management?) What if the resulting fury is so strong that, after having parked over two spaces in a car park and tailgating someone for miles, that person then gets out of their car with the sole intention of hurting the person they feel has crossed them on the road (we'd call that road rage)? What if their mask, their overblown ego, their self importance causes them to manipulate others for their own gain, without a second thought of the negative consequences of their actions. What if their 'not offended' mask means that they're incapable of accepting criticism, and paired to their 'look how strong' mask causes conversations to become all negative opinion (not factual) and causes other people negative mental health problems? And for this, we might call it bullying?
This level of over confidence, the lack of social boundaries, the reliance on threatening (verbal or physical) behaviour to achieve goals, maybe they're all related? Aren't these common everyday occurrences increasing in frequency as we're urged by news and some political parties to segregate and dehumanise ourselves, part of the same problem?
I remember reading a book called Being Happy by Andrew Matthews which stated in it that there was no such thing as a superiority complex. But what if that's exactly what it is, what if the signs for superiority complexes are obvious to us everyday, the driver that doesn't thank you when you pull over to let them through (just rudeness right, or is it a superiority complex?) The Double parker, my car is better than yours, so I deserve two spaces so it doesn't get scratched - superiority complex?
The I'm your boss, so I'm going to talk down to you and argue using my opinions and not listen to your facts. That's surely a sign of a superiority complex?
Worth thinking about, as these people who upset the status quo of everyday living don't have boundaries, they don't suffer, everyone else does. Their mental health problems don't grab the headlines because the person with the mental health problem doesn't recognise it. Why would an individual see a doctor, when they're not suffering. The rest of us just have to tolerate them and attend therapy sessions to cope with the affect. (I say we I'm assuming I'm not one of them).
No one would visit the Doctor with the line "I seem to be a bit of an asshole, can I get therapy?".
But what if the mirror was held at a different angle and the focus suddenly became about their issues. How would it affect our collective well being moving forward if we recognised over empowering and damaging behaviour, where the patient had a recognised serious mental health problem that needed our care and attention in order to improve all of our lives?
What if there really is such a thing as a superiority complex and these are the consequences?
Comments
Post a Comment